Annotated and Abridged Artifact

Abridged Text

RECEIVING, with an historical eye, the record of mankind, from the days of Eden to those of the Nineteenth Century, we meet with nearly an undeviating average of human size; and so little variableness has been found that we might consider the dimensions of our race, as far as height, size, and proportion are concerned, as approximating an almost universal standard, regarding striking and casual deviations from the usual mutations of mind and matter as only exceptions to the general rule. The mummies of Egypt -- the bones dug out of Indian mounds -- the relics of antiquated religious houses, and the remains found on battle-fields of only a few years' notoriety -- all exhibit the average height of the human species as six feet. We read in sacred history of the existence of a race of giants, before the flood, which afflicted the earth with carnage and conflict. The history of David has made every child familiar with that of his enemy, Goliath of Gath. Saul, King of Israel, was a head taller than the tallest captain of his hosts. One Roman Emperor attained the stature of nearly eight feet. In later days, we hear of O'Brien, the Irish giant, who was eight feet four inches in height; and M. Louis, the French giant, seven feet one inch in height. The Patagonians and inhabitants of Terra del Fuego, are said to average six feet nine inches in height. On the other hand, those who have failed to attain to the usual stature, and have fallen much under it, have also proved exceptions to the general law; and these instances, though, perhaps, not so numerous as the added size, have been far from few. As there were nations of giants, so there have been, and are, communities of dwarfs and pigmies. Ancient history speaks of a nation of pigmies in Thrace, only eighteen inches in height. The Esquimax are generally less than five feet in height, and the Laplanders scarcely average four feet. Dwarfs were in great demand among the ancient Romans, and were called Nadi or Nance. The wife of the Emperor AUGUSTUS had a dwarf named SONOPAS, who was two feet ten inches in height. In later days, we read of Geoffrey Hudson, a remarkable dwarf, eighteen inches high, and a great favorite with Charles I.; a Polish gentleman, Count Browlaski, who, at twenty years of age, was three feet high. Wybrand Solkes and Mlle. Teresia are also well known in Europe. Major Stevens, the first American dwarf exhibited, was forty inches in height. Mr. and Mrs. Charles S. Stratton next claim public attention, all other dwarfs, in height and proportion, being far their inferiors, excepting, perhaps, the famous "$80,000" Commodore Nutt. (1)

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GENERAL TOM THUMB, As he is best known, but whose real name is CHARLES S. STRATTON, was born in the town of Bridgeport, Connecticut, U. S. A., on the 4th day of January, 1838. [2 »] His parents were persons about whom there existed no peculiarity, either in mental or physical organization. At his birth, the General (for so he has been styled by the united voices of his thousands of friends and admirers) weighed nine pounds and a half -- which is rather above the usual weight of children at birth -- so that he bid fair to become, indeed was, a bouncing boy. He grew, daily, like other children, until he attained the age of eighteen months, when Nature put a veto on his further upward progress, and ordered him forever afterwards to remain in statu quo. When he was two years old persons fancied that he had not grown an inch for some time: measures (tape ones) were resorted to for the purpose of ascertaining his stationary condition; but although in every other respect he improved with rapidity, not a hair's breadth was added to his stature. That he was no longer -- no shorter -- no heavier, but much handsomer, was accredited to him by every one. His appetite increased, although his stomach refused to grow larger; he never complained of sickness, but partook freely of the ordinary food, enjoyed refreshing sleep, and has always exhibited perfect health, with the exception of those slight colds to which the most robust are liable. His parents have had three other children, who are of the ordinary size. In fact, there is nothing in his history or appearance, or in that of his family, which furnishes the slightest clue to the astonishing phenomena which are presented by his miniature features and frame. [3 »] After a suitable training, beneath the personal supervision of Mr. Barnum, he was introduced to the public, at Barnum's Museum, where throngs attended his levees. [4 »] In January, 1844, he sailed for Europe, first appearing in Liverpool. Proceeding to London, he was patronized by the haut ton [5 »] of that metropolis. Queen Victoria invited him to Buckingham Palace, where his lively good nature secured him instant success, and resulted in a second royal command, upon which occasion he was presented to the Prince of Wales and the Royal Family.

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GENERAL TOM THUMB while living at Bridgeport, Connecticut, personally attends to his comfortable estate, leases his houses, collects his rents, and transacts all his own business, like other men. He keeps his yacht and his horses, carries firearms, made, of course, expressly for him, and when out West in 1861, shot several deer. The following item from the Bridgeport Standard of October 1862, shows that the general was anxiously looking for a suitable wife:

MISS LAVINIA WARREN.

MISS LAVINIA WARREN was born, October 31, 1842, in Middleboro', Mass., where her parents, who are in comfortable circumstances, now reside. She has four brothers: one in the army, one in Utah, and two are living with their parents. She has also three sisters, two of whom are married they are all of the ordinary size, except the youngest, named Minnie, born June 8, 1846, who is even smaller than Lavinia, and a bright and beautiful young lady.

Until Lavinia was a year old, she was of the usual size; from that time she increased in stature slowly, and ceased growing entirely when she was ten years of age. She attended school regularly with other children in the neighborhood, and found no difficulty whatever in keeping up with them in the classes she attended. At home, her good mother taught her how to sew, knit, cook, and do all manner of housework, so that she is really a good housekeeper. She also has a knowledge of fancy work, practiced by ladies who have the leisure to devote themselves to it. She is, in a word, an accomplished lady -- intelligent, pleasant, modest, and agreeable. Although she has only the stature of a small child, she has the sense of a woman. She speaks like an educated, full-grown woman, and selects such topics of conversation as a mature woman would select. She taught school for several months in her native town. Her size is that of a child, her language that of an adult. She is a woman in miniature, weighing twenty-nine pounds, and measuring thirty-two inches in height. The reader may choose from his lady acquaintances a sparkling woman, with dark hair and black eyes, symmetrical figure and soft voice, and, in his imagination, reduce her to the dimensions above named, leaving her mental and moral faculties fully expanded, and he will have an idea of this charming little woman; or, he may reverse the picture, and select a child of perfect mold, with a finely-arched brow, dimpled cheeks, large, lustrous eyes, a nicely-chiseled mouth, a rich harvest of hair, and suddenly endow her with all the attributes and accomplishments of womanhood -- a heart to love, a head to contrive, and a hand to execute -- giving her wit, imagination, humor, judgment, &c. He may fancy such a child using elegant language -- appreciating music, poetry, eloquence, painting, and statuary -- traveling unattended (as she has done, from Boston to Buffalo), going through the streets shopping -- waltzing in the ball-room -- singing sentimental and patriotic songs -- writing letters to friends -- keeping a journal, etc. When this little lady stopped at the St. Nicholas Hotel, she was visited by many hundreds of the elite and literati New York; and, although she is naturally diffident and retiring, she never failed to interest her visitors, and leave upon their minds a favorable impression, constantly bringing to their recollection the old proverb, that "Nature puts up her choice materials in small parcels."

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Miss WARREN is perfectly developed, she enjoys excellent health, and is entirely free from deformity and every drawback that would give pain to the spectator. Having lived at her quiet home, under the parental roof where kind friends have watched over her welfare, she has no remarkable events to record, no startling incidents to relate -- she is a living wonder, and needs no marvelous history to kindle public curiosity. While we look upon giants with awe, perhaps admiration, we approach this petite piece of humanity with love, and make a pet of her, in spite of ourselves. Her personal beauty, her brilliant conversation, her modest deportment, win their way to the heart, however ascetic may be the temperament. We look at her, and we know that her diminished stature does not arise from compression or mutilation, but from natural causes alone, and we are led to exclaim, "How rare and remarkable the phenomena."

At first it was announced that the wedding would take place on St. Valentine's Day -- the time when Cupid drives his team of white sparrows, and rides in a coach of lily leaves, shooting his arrows at all who are susceptible of the tender passion -- leaving dimples in the cheeks and chins of the victims who are pierced by his arrows -- but Mr. STRATTON did not like to delay the ceremony, although Mr. BARNUM exerted the utmost of his endeavors to have him postpone the tying of the nuptial knot as long as possible, since the "little woman" was a star of attraction that crowded the Museum day and night.

THE MARRIAGE

On Tuesday, the tenth of February, 1863, the grand national event of the season transpired; time, noon; scene, Grace Church; [6 »] Chief actors, General Charles Thomas Thumb Stratton, Miss Lavinia Warren, Commodore Nutt, and Miss Minnie Warren. The mind of New York had been previously excited to a high degree by its announcement; the coming event "had cast its shadows before" in the shape of comely cards, gotten up strictly after la mode's latest edict, being bits of prettily printed pasteboard, got up in Gimbrede's best and latest style -- [7 »] for which fabulous sums were offered, in some instances fifty dollars each -- but for whose possession Barnum was not to be bribed, they being distributed with a serene eye to the eclat [8 »] of the occasion. The wedding guests, were selected from among the haut ton of Gotham, and the celebrities of the country. The President, and many members of the Cabinet were among those invited; also the Foreign Ministers; nor were the noble men fresh from fields where laurels had crowned their brows, forgotten.

As they left the church, Morgans organ rolled out the inspiring harmony of Mendelssohn's Wedding March, to whose grand measure Mr. and Mrs. Charles S. Stratton, no longer twain but one flesh, marched down the aisle. Re-entering the carriages in waiting, they were rapidly driven through the animated crowds that nearly blocked Broadway, to the Metropolitan Hotel, where they "received" their "clear five thosand friends," from one until three o'clock." Here they melted like quicksilver through the yielding crowd, which rained down upon them a shower of compliments and a storm of searching glances. "Isn't she pretty!" "How graceful!" "How beautiful!" "How queenly!" "How matronly!" "How charming!" "Dear little creatures!" "Was there ever anything so lovely?" "Was there ever such a picture ?" "Isn't it nice?" "What a manly bearing he has!" "It's like a fairy scene!" "Isn't it wonderful!" "Did you ever?" &c., &c. Amid all of which the smiling twins -- for such they seemed -- were eventually guided to their pedestal, the piano, on which they were speedily raised by the athlete Dibblee, and all was ready for receiving the visitors with a nod, or a shake of the hand, as the circumstances might prompt. The General and his lady had a smile and a bow for all, and manifested so much spirit, gaiety, and life, that all were charmed beyond measure; in fact, Mr. and Mrs. Stratton acted as if they had been in the habit of being married. The veteran Commodore Nutt occupied his position on the right of the groom, and the petite Minnie Warren on the left of the bride, with becoming gravity, and were likewise the centre of attraction. Of course there were many suggestions that they would form the next match, to all of which they replied good-naturedly.

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THE DESTINY of the bride and bridegroom, according to all speculation, will be one of happiness. Posterity may, perhaps, point to them as being the inventors of a race of humanity which, illustrating the conceit of the poet, shall grow "small by degrees and beautifully less." The Chinese have a way of dwarfing trees by directing the growth from the foliage to the flower and fruit. If the happy couple, who, last night, held so brilliant a reception, are small in stature, they at least possess large gifts of intelligence and beauty. Prussian, Russian, Polish, Dutch, English, and Italian dwarfs present from history no more pleasing peculiarities than these two