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Again my persecutors are guilty of the same act of uncharitableness in calling the natural developments of womanhood evil, or insanity, in me.

This undeveloped sister insists that it is impossible for me to be what I profess to be, a true woman, and not have overcome the evil in my husband; since goodness is omnipotent.

I acknowledge the potency of goodness, while I, at the same time add, that I do not believe that she or any other woman could have borne more patiently with a husband's faults, or have labored more kindly and indefatigably to overcome them than I have done. I regard such a man as a most subtle foe to conquer, and that ultimately, Christ may, through my instrumentality, conquer him. But the time has not yet come.

It is said of Christ, "Thou hast put all things in subjection under his feet," as I believe, for the purpose of raising them a state of happiness and purity. Christ conquers not to punish, but to bless his foes.

I believe my twenty-one years of subjection to my husband's will is not designed as a punishment to me, but as a blessed means of bringing me to lose all my natural loves in the love of God's will. Thus am I called to die to live again -- to die naturally, to live spiritually. I hope this now life has begun in me. May it be developed into maturity!

Another point she could not understand in me is, that I call it a reproach to be called insane, when she says it is not a reproach to be insane.

I do not regard an insane person as an object of reproach or contempt, by any means. They are objects of pity and compassion; for I regard insanity as the greatest misfortune which can befall a human being in this life. But to be regarded as an insane person, when I am not, is to me a reproach, which I find is a severe cross for me to bear; such as for example, to be reported to be a bankrupt, when I am not, is a reproach, because it is a cruel slander.

But how much more malevolent and cruel is the slander, to be reported as lost to reason when we are not.

I think the sensitive feelings of Christ led him to feel it to be a reproach to have his age say of him:

"He hath a devil and is mad, why hear ye him? "As much as to say, "Why will you listen to what this "babbler" says? he is not worth noticing, for he is merely an insane person, who don"t know what he is about."

Now, since he expressly says it is "blasphemy, in that they said he hath a devil;" and since blasphemy is the blackest sin which can be committed against Christ, have we not reason to fear it is of the same type of magnitude when committed against his followers?

But so far as I am concerned, I can forgive this injury which this sister has thus inflicted upon my sensitive feelings, although Christ says, blasphemy is a sin which cannot be forgiven, "either in this life, or the life to come." I do pray that she may never know from her own sad experience how deeply she has wounded my feelings; and never, until she is called to bear this same reproach, can she know how ponderous is the burden.

CHAPTER XXXVIII.
The Guilt of Folly.

There are some crimes, the charging of which, falsely, is worse than the crimes themselves.

So with my husband's false accusation of insanity in me, he commits a greater crime against me, than it would be in him to really become insane.

The false accusation is a crime, whereas the thing charged is no crime.

Neither is he guiltless in treating me as insane, when this delusion of his is only the result of misapprehension, for he is to blame for getting into this deluded state. He has resisted known light, and a persistence in his folly has so blinded him that now he cannot see correctly. At the same time, he is to blame, because he ought not to have got into this state. Like the drunkard, who unconsciously harms another, is guilty, for he ought not to have got into this unconscious state.

The good of society requires that folly, as well as rascality, should be responsible for their own actions.

Again, this state of folly can only be controlled by brute force or fear, since while in it, they are dead to all influences of a higher kind. And the just punishment of this folly is demanded as a warning to others to avoid such a state. These victims of folly must be held in check, by force, until consciousness so far returns as to lead them to see the wrong they have done; and this time has not come, until they feel sorry for their trespass upon others' rights. My husband must see that there is no hope of help for him, until he can see that he has done wrong; then he will be in a suitable state to receive his pardon from me. Until that time comes, he cannot appreciate forgiveness if it should be offered. It is my duty to hold him there until he does.

Again, this accusation is a crime of great magnitude because there is no chance of a termination of my imprisonment while on this basis. Real insanity may possibly be cured and thus hope lies for the insane in the future; but the case of the falsely accused is hopeless -- for if unchanged, he is treated as insane, and if he becomes insane, his case is hopeless.